Awkward Family Christmas
Navigating the Holidays When Your Family Isn’t Picture-Perfect
Christmas is supposed to be “the most wonderful time of the year”—but for many, it’s also the most complicated. As pastors, my wife Krista and I talk to people every year who feel a mix of joy, grief, stress, and pressure as Christmas approaches. And if we’re being honest…most of us don’t have a picture-perfect holiday. We have awkward ones.
Families are messy. Every family has its quirks. Every family has its drama.
Some of us are heading into Christmas with an empty seat at the table because someone we love isn’t here anymore. Some are navigating blended families, step-parents, or new dynamics that make the holidays feel unfamiliar. Others are walking through the sting of divorce, wondering who will get the kids on Christmas morning. Maybe you’ve got a crazy uncle, an eccentric aunt, or a grandparent who gets a little more unpredictable every year.
If Christmas feels complicated this year—you’re not alone.
Jesus Came From an Awkward Family Too
When you read the genealogy of Jesus in Matthew 1, it doesn’t sound like the intro to a Hallmark movie. It’s full of imperfect people and messy stories—liars, deceivers, adulterers, prostitutes, broken kings, and deeply flawed family dynamics.
God didn’t choose a perfect family to bring His Son into the world. He chose a real one.
Christmas isn’t about pretending everything is okay. It’s about God stepping into the middle of our chaos.
Facing the Empty Seats
Many people will experience their first Christmas without someone they love this year. That empty seat at the table can feel louder than all the laughter in the room.
The Bible says in Psalm 34:18, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted.”
If this season feels heavy: Create a new tradition that honors the person you miss. Don’t force yourself to be “okay.” Let Jesus carry what’s too heavy for you. Your tears don’t mean you lack faith—they mean you’ve loved deeply.
God doesn’t ask you to ignore your grief. He meets you in it.
You Can’t Fix Your Family, But You Can Guard Your Peace
Romans 12:18 gives us a gift: “As far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
- You can’t control everyone’s behavior.
- You can’t change someone’s past.
- You can’t force peace where someone else refuses to give it.
- But you can control your response.
You can prepare your heart before you walk into a family gathering. You can choose which battles are worth fighting (and which aren’t). You can pause, breathe, and ask the Holy Spirit to guide your words.
Your peace is precious—don’t let anyone steal it.
Putting on Love—Even When It’s Hard
Colossians 3 challenges us to “put on” compassion, kindness, humility, patience, and forgiveness—like clothing.
That means love is not always natural; sometimes it’s chosen.
- Show compassion even when someone else is prickly.
- Offer kindness even when it’s not reciprocated.
- Practice patience with the relative who tests yours.
- Give forgiveness—not because they deserve it, but because Jesus gave it to you.
Love doesn’t deny the mess. Love redeems it.
Jesus Steps Into the Chaos With Us
- A teenage mother
- A confused and anxious fiancé
- No room at the inn
- A birth in a barn
Jesus doesn’t wait for perfect environments—He transforms messy ones.
Whatever your Christmas looks like this year—quiet, chaotic, lonely, loud, joyful, or bittersweet—Jesus is willing to sit at your table.
He doesn’t avoid dysfunction; He walks straight into it with hope, peace, and healing.
You’re Not Alone This Christmas
Whether your family is beautifully imperfect or painfully fractured, whether your season is filled with joy or tinged with sorrow, we pray this truth settles into your heart:
Christmas doesn’t require a perfect family. It reveals a perfect Savior.
If you’re looking for hope, community, or simply a place where you don’t have to pretend to have it all together, we’d love to invite you to join us at City Lights this Christmas season.
There’s a seat for you—awkwardness and all.